Thursday, November 8, 2012

Zombie Survival

When the zombie apocalypse hits, where will you be. Will you be prepared? Do you have a group? A plan? These are all the basics to surviving the Zombie Apocalypse. There are ten main rules to surviving. You can find almost everything I’m going to say in the “Zombie Survival Guide” By Max Brooks. Anyway, Max Brooks Ten rules of survival...

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

So yea. Ten rules of survival but that is mainly when you on the run. When you are in your home, you have the advantage of being able to store ammo, food, and anything else you strange people have in homes. Now most people would say, shouldn’t you have a gas mask? Well, no. Just something that will cover your face so you don’t get all those zombie guts in your mouth when you slice them open. But that brings us to another topic. Any of you guys who read my other Discussion Question about how to survive the apocalypse I said that the best CQC weapon was a katana. Well I take that back. Max Brooks may have said that a katana was an ideal weapon but my sister’s friend is a weapon expert and she said blunt weapons are better. You don’t have to slice the zombie in half, in fact, that would do absolutely nothing. All you have to do to kill a zombie is damage the brain. Blunt weapons can do just that without the splatter that blades do. Now you guys are probably eager to get on to the fun part about guns and ammo. Well no. This stuff is in an order and if you skip you are probably going to be the first one in your group to get bitten.  So that means do not skip. Now on to more rules. We’ll talk about number ten first. The Zombie May Be Gone but The Threat Lives On. What this means is that even though you have killed it, the body still has the virus and is still dangerous. You still need to dispose of the body by burning it or burying it. But keep in mind this is only applies if you are holding up in a fortress. If you are on the run this does not really matter. Rule number seven. Get out of the car, get on a bike. The cars are loud and will attract more zombies. Simple. Stay stealthy. Rule number five. Don’t want zombies grabbing you. Everything else is pretty much common sense. Except Number One. This entire thing is about rule one. Organize, before they rise. So yea. Now on to the fun parts! Weapons! Now guys, the first thing I want to say is if you voted for Romney, I’m glad you had a will to survive. But for those of you who voted for Obama, good luck surviving the apocalypse with your muzzle loader. Say good buy to your automatics... Anyway, on to the weapons. Now a lot of you are probably thinking of bringing a shotgun. Well no. that is the worst possible choice you could make. You'd be better off running a melee weapon in the apocalypse. Shotguns are heavy. So are the rounds. The rounds are bulky, heavy, stupid, red, and I hate them. I think it would be better for you just to throw pistols at the zombies. With grenades taped to them... Moving on. The best zombie apocalypse weapon is the AR-15. This is not Max Brook’s choice. This is my sister firearms expert choice. My sister  also has a friend who makes knives that are awesome. So yea. One night we were playing a friendly game of Monopoly National Parks Edition. By the way my sister is an Archaeologist in the Black Hills. I got a card from the City Chest that told me I had won a free trip to the Redwood Forest where my sister’s friend had already built a hotel. I gladly passed go and collected two-hundred dollars and continued on my journey to the Redwood Forest. But when I arrived at my destination... I raged. Since we were already well into the game and my strategy is just buy everything I land on I was really broke. I swept my piece off the board, tipped my houses over, and went to sit on the couch. But that has absolutely nothing to do with surviving. Or does it? It actually does. Max Brooks Zombie Survival Guide says that you need to keep your group in a positive state so that they still have the will to try and survive. What was I even talking about? Oh yea, when we were playing Monopoly and she told me that shotguns are inefficient and that she would go with the AR-15 with a laser sight and a suppressor. Same attachments to your sidearm but we’ll get onto that later. The laser sight so you can just lay the little red dot on the zombie’s head and just fire away. Fire accurately though. Every bullet is a chance to save your life. Suppressor, so you don’t attract more zombies. Your sidearm. The Heckler and Koch USP 40. It’s reliable, comfortable, accurate, moderate recoil, easy to find, and easy to operate. The USP also is available in a 9mm and a .45 ACP type. The 9mm is considered weak with low recoil. The .45 is very powerful with high recoil. Same attachments, same function. But heres another thing. If you are a beginner, this might help you. But if you are an expert on anything in here, don’t listen to me. Yea, don’t listen to anything I just said. If you’re a pro Marksmen, go with a rifle. If you’re more familiar with a P99, go with that. If you like explosives, you sound really dangerous but ok, I guess that’s your thing. I think you get the point. I think this pretty much wraps everything up for now. You guys want to know more, buy the Zombie Survival guide. Prep for December 21st! ZOmBiEs



  1. I disagree the first thing you want and the best thing also the most important would be a huge ship the size of Madison or bigger that can fly go in space, water, and drive on land and this is completely zombie proof bunker with thousands of defenses such as if a zombie touches any part of the ship it will immediately be incinerated, and many other things in the same order and the inside. Well that is the best part the inside has hundreds of bio invoirentment so when you need it you have a ton of food and natural recourses also medicine. You also have inside ton of weapons and all sorts of things you need to survive so when earth has too many zombies you can just go up into space and chill. Your bio domes in your ships also have metals and other recourses to make guns and ammo. in your ship you would also have a ton of factories all run by machines and you also have tons of doctors with the cure to the infection and you are the safest people out there to accomplish this ship you will need about one billion dollars so unless you’re on super good terms with someone in the to 1 percent of the world than lets all face it you will be a zombie in a matter of days.

    1. Have you ever heard of Black Ops Zombies Moon? Element 115, the stuff that makes zombies, got onto the moon, infected a couple guys, infected everyone else on the moon, the workers had no where to run and everyone died. What would happen if a zombie got on your space ship? If you shot it with a bullet would it put a hole through the side of the ship and you would all die a slow painful death of either lac of air or become a zombie. And besides, where would you get this space ship of yours? Your plan is illogical and a cure for a zombie could take years. Start brewing up a second plan Alex. By the way, what is the first thing that you disagree with? Organize, before they rise? Is this magic school bus the size of Madison just going to appear, out of no where? You know what, I don't even want to hear your plan B...

  2. WOW, i NEW NOTHING ABOUT ZOMBIES. I new nothing about how to stay alive in a zombie atck. I did not now you blew up the stairs when you got up.

  3. Jake that will help me when they show up thanks.

  4. Dude forget that! I will move to Antarctica!

  5. waiting for the first zombie...
    first infected!

    this is really good and can i get that book from you.